Arousal, by Michael Bader

Most of us know what turns us on but not why. But now, Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies offers a powerful new theory that finally explains the special route that each of us prefers to feel sexual pleasure, the favorite fantasies and sexual scenarios that we find especially exciting. Drawing on 25 years of experience as a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst, the author demonstrates that rather than being programmed by our biology or society, our sexual fantasies and preferences are really psychological antidotes to
unconscious dangers. Armed with this radical new theory, readers will no longer feel ashamed about what arouses them, or confused about what arouses others.

Richly illustrated with clinical vignettes from the author's consulting room, Arousal deciphers the secret meaning of a wide variety of sexual fantasies and behavior, ranging from ordinary preferences about positions in bed to flamboyant scenarios worthy of the Marquis de Sade. Readers will meet Jan, a feminist with a rape fantasy, Otto the cyberporn addict, and Esther, a mother of three who gets thrilled by the fantasy of being ravished on stage in a room full of men.

Arousal sheds new light on the dynamics of sexual boredom, illuminating a problem that affects millions of people. And yet Arousal transcends the personal, using its exciting new theory of sexual arousal to understand cybersex, pornography, and the differences in how men and women get excited.